Sunday, September 18, 2011

Love Me?

I am in a love-y state of mind and I am listening to Northern Sky ( by Nick Drake) or it could be I am listening to Northern Sky and hence I am in a love-y state of mind.
And the song goes..
"Straighten my new mind's eye...
Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could"

Well, definitely do not love me for my money as I have none ( unless you want to love me for being poor). I also don't know who these lines are meant for, which I guess, makes all this a sad attempt to simply escape from my reality- a pile of papers and books staring at me asking to be read. ANYhows, the song is lovely and I don't mind "crazy magic" happening (like my road trip to Kotagiri) anytime :).

In other news and happenings:

My cousin's love story comes to an end and she is happily getting hitched to the guy mommy and daddy chose.The other guy ( the ex)appears to be heartbroken, if we want to believe his recent facebook statuses and some messages he sent me. Makes me wonder if love has become an emotion of convenience?Or, on a more optimistic note-perhaps it wasn't love at all.

My dear, hippie,bird watching, nature gazing, traveler, biker, educator, activist, God's own child ( being a priest and all) friend is in NY for a month. We spoke on the phone and he is here to "get away from it all". See, even a priest needs a break from it all. So what about a lesser mortal like me?! My last proper vacation- vacation was in summer of 2007. Yes, I am one of those ticking bombs waiting to explode.

SO, would you love me till I die? Ha..I know-tricky!

(PS: I tried to listen to some of other songs by Nick Drake. Too melancholic/depressive/sad- take your pick. Poor chap died at a young age too-I think it was depression).

Oh! and its all rainy and wet and my little garden looks charming.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Go Away!

I read a blog today and she writes about her plans to go away on vacation just to rest and clear up her head and I thought to myself- my sentiments exactly. I too wish to go away for a few days. Somewhere, anywhere, as long as its away, away from everything and everyone. If you notice a desperation in my words then perhaps its because I am desperate. Too much going on, more than my poor brain can process. It is all muddled up and disorganized, my brain. There is stuff I read that needs to be remembered, stuff I have to remember to read, stuff I need to do, stuff I heard, stuff I saw, stuff I felt, the bad,complicated stuff you battle with and then the rest of the stuff and more. Too much "stuff" I tell ya! TIRING! VERY TIRING!

Seriously considering a change of profession and becoming a hippie. Isn't life all about peace, love and shabby clothes then?! Tempted ,seriously tempted.Or, perhaps its just easier to go away.

*sigh* Goodbye!

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

It's All Useless- Be Warned!

(Disclaimer: To anyone who might be reading this, Be Warned!- I have no idea where I am headed with this post . It is useless and highly unlikely to become useful so you may choose to quit reading (or me writing)).

Yes I realize that was a bit of a “long” break since the last post. Reasons range from something as mundane as ‘I was busy’, to lack of ideas in general and lack of ideas on how to articulate what was going on with me on a more introspective,psychological/emotional level.

Anyways, here I am, this in-consequential Tuesday night, having plenty to study and been at it for the last few hours, now giving my poor brain a break after bombarding it with theoretical insights and intellectual Ah-Ha’s and Oic’s on natural resource conservation by some learned scholars out there. To put it in simple words- I am bored and distracted and I am taking a break. I know this when I cannot remember which paragraph I was on after looking away for a few seconds to make a quick note of something; Or, in between readings I get bizarre random thoughts on how cool this particular guy looks or I am madly in love with someone and we are both cuddly- cuddly-coochicooing with/to each other. I know, absolutely pointless and out of context thoughts. Also, I don’t even think I am the cuddly-cuddly-coochicooing types. Well, I don’t know really. Maybe with the right or the wrong kind of guy. *pondering*

At one point my mind drifted off to an old tamil song that I once liked. I saw the movie sometime back. It has Mr Body Builder Sharathkumar and this lovely lass whose name I don’t know and Jyothika. Do not be mislead by the song, which is seriously romantic and sweet and all that mushy stuff (bless the soul who upload songs with subtitles), but the movie is more in the lines of a crime thriller. Yeah! imagine my disappointment! (The original Hollywood version -Derailed)

I guess, one reason I am in this crazy-I-have-no-clue-what-I-am-blabbering-about- mood is because I also had a long, sad and tiring day at the Uni. A short presentation by me (I think the worst kind I have ever given), a sleepy committee and an overall feeling of poor show and UN-accomplishment makes you even more sad and lethargic and full of doubts. Then I get into this I-am-drunk-but-not-really-state of mind, which explains my incoherent ramblings. And, when such realizations strike, one must go silent.