Thursday, January 26, 2006

The "Procedure"

The doc called it a minor procedure …I call it a bloody freakin experience..literally!!!
I had this nasty, angry looking infected cyst on my left shoulder- for a while now. It started off the size of a tiny, innocent looking cyst (I insulted it often calling it a silly black head) and this was about seven months ago. Over time the little baby grew and grew and grew and before I knew it was the size of a lemon , infected ,and painful…and when I couldn’t bear the pain any longer (it had started affecting the way I perceived the world) I made the trip to the doc’s office. These are things I like to postpone forever….until and unless someone pushed and coaxed me to go or till it became unbearable to myself.
So.. I made the trip, had the preliminary check up by the sweet , kind nurse who after all the sweet talk disappeared for a while and returned with a fist full off dangerous (but sterile) looking instruments. We exchanged glances and she said she just wanted to be prepared for anything the doc might want . I said they looked scary. and she laughed me off saying he may not even use it and probably just give me some antibiotics.
Hmm…well guess what??.....he used it…all of them. Not just use them…he gave me a running commentary (Why do they do that? Never quite understood it. Do they expect us to interrupt in between and say …hey doc u missed a step…already forgotten what they taught in med school ??..hmm...anyway…guess he was only trying to relax me)..on everything he did.. right from the three goddamn shots for local anesthesia to the point where he made a cut , dug out all the diseased stuff to about three inches deep, stuffed in some kind of sterile gauze ,fixed a drain and plastered it off.
I know it almost sounds like a scene from a gory, B-grade scary movie(sorry about that)…but I was on the verge of throwing up and almost ready to burst into tears. Geez…seriously …no matter how small a “procedure” I am never going in for any thing of that sort without anyone by my side. Call me chicken…but it was a weirdly emotional experience for me, to be alone , completely conscious, with someone cutting open a part of my body( ofcourse thank god for local anesthesia ,I didn’t feel any pain but I could feel what the doc was doing…blaah…don’t know how to explain it).I have never felt so alone and it was a pretty scary ,vulnerable feeling. Anyway ,I survived without looking like a complete idiot ..and currently I am semi-stoned on antibiotics.The world looks rockin again!!! Yipppeee!!!

Monday, January 23, 2006

An Appropriate Title Can Go To Hell.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And that’s exactly how I feel right now

The
Rest
Of
The
Post
Has Been
Deleted!
(Orange lines stolen from Fix You by Cold Play)

Monday, January 16, 2006

Goofy Conversation

Found my buddy v online today and we started talking and this is a portion of the conversation we had.

me: hey news-flash
me:I am totally in love with someone again...*sigh*
me:I mean I always liked him
v: *roll eyes smiley*.just tell me ..... is your love attainable
me: but now I want to live with him
v:then i'll tell u whether it is love or just infatuation
me: what do u mean " is my love attainable?"
v: will u ever get a chance to let him know whats up in your mind
me: hmmm..I dont think so unless I send a long love letter to customer care ,addressed to him.lol
v:why don't u call him up then and tell
me: dont have his phone number...also I lack the courage
me: naa--its a lost case
v:who is it
v: u know him actually
v: ***** eh ?
me:lol
me: what a guess!!
v: how manyeth time is this -that u are falling for him?
me: do u think its tragic to fall for the same person many times?
v: it is not tragic
v: it is pathetic
v:lol
v:kiddin
v: no idea
v: all depends on whom u fallin for
me: I wasnt speaking of ***** actually
v: is it me then ? yippeee
v: lol
me:lol
v:the only other person i know and u know is *****
me: if it is not ***** has to be me lol
v: and i'm disappointed that u are only falling
v: i always thought u had fallen from the word go
me:shut up and check this out. click here
me:i was reading about him and he is a freakin dream guy as far as I am concerned
v:ok
v:this is he ?
v:u want ian wright ?
me: yea
v:what a freakin anti- climax
v:if u wanna see it like this ....
v:I'm desperately in love with .... Angelina jolie,manisha koirala,live taylor,arwen undomiel,claire dane,gabriella sabatini,steffi graf
v: anna kournikova
v:demi moore
v:and a few 1000 more
v:ok?
v: so forget it
v: bye
me: bye
v: take care
v: have fun
v: come down and lets go to coorg
v: lol
v: bye
me: i dont want to go with u
v: take a hike then
v: bye
me: will go alone
me: yea
me: bye
v: happy journey
me: thx
me: but I dont need yr good wishes either
me: keep it to yrself--and take somebody else
v: may all the insects in the forest climb up your spine
me: and may she turn out to be sooo boring
me: that u fall asleep while walking with her
v: bye

v & me -signed out. lol!We really didnt mean to sound like a couple of teenagers...but sometimes these things just happen.

Anyway there is no point in arguing with him .All I know is Ian Wright is SUPER and would love to travel with him!!!I am hooked on Lonely Planet/Globe Trekker and one day I am going to own the entire set of globe trekker series on DVD.Infact I already did a price check and 52 dvds -73 episode set costs around $750. *sigh*.I am going to buy them................................one day...............someday...SOON!!!And then slowly add on to my collection one at a time.*goosebumps*.And then I'll meet Ian Wright and we'll elope.*grin*
(K and jr....if u guys read this post...we can talk u know).

Bouts of Laziness and General Feeling of Dullness and Lethargy!

I have definitely lost the ability to enjoy breaks.Its a tragic realization.We had a three day weekend and there was so much I wanted to do-study, read ,cook ,call some friends over (K's & mine) and just chill out.So far nothing has happened as planned.I made some half-hearted attempts to study and abandoned the project when my brain refused to focus.I didnt even try to cook ,did a bit of reading although I dare not mention the number of pages and since nothing constructive was achieved I couldnt sit back and relax.Its so weird!Before I was never like this...I didnt have any issues with my conscience...it never troubled me so much.I could easily spend a day not doing anything inspite of having a ton of things to do .I could easily ignore my well laid out plans, and yet not feel a tiny pinch of conscience.Not that I am proud of it but I knew how to relax and chill out and sometimes its a healthy thing to do.Wonder how this change happened and what it is about?Perhaps I have become more aware , more conscious , more sensitive to situations and surroundings and more passionate about things.Wow I almost sound mature!Anyway they all sound like good things but I sure do miss the state of total stress free chilling out.

Anyway its Martin Luther King day and I also read a bit of one of my favouirite authors Arundhathi Roy.The weekend may have been a total wash out but remembering and reading such extraordinary people keeps the fire in me burning.The philosophy is simple...some people are born to do incredible work and be inspiring and after them some people like me ( and anyone who cares to join)are born to feel inspired and try and do something constructive and meaningful ,if not like them but atelast close....so help me(us) God!

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr, two of his quotes that I like:-

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant"
"Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will."

And since I happened to read A.Roy these are some lines from her book The Algebra of Infinite Justice.I have read these lines few times and always found it pretty inspiring.

The only dream worth having is to live while you are alive and die only when you are dead.

And by this she meant :-

To love,to be loved
To never forget your own insignificance
To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of the life around you.
To seek joy in the saddest places
To pursure beauty to its lair.
To never simply what is complicated and never complicate what is simple.
To respect strength, never power.
Above all to watch.
To try and understand.
To never look away and never ,never to forget.

[still clueless on how to overcome laziness and general feeling of dullness and lethargy.Maybe I should cut down on sugar.Blah...I dont know.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

So...

....its one week into the semester.Darwin's theory back at work..."Survival of the Fittest!"
and I know I must -Take it Easy....*deep breath & exhhhhhhhale*

But I say...whoever invented calculus should be thrown to the dungeons.*grrrrrr*. I do have deep respects for the person's intelligence but why drag the whole human race to be a part of this invention, why drag me??why?!!
Seriously,I do not believe in torture of any kind but here I am signed up for one semester of torture.*sigh*.Weird how the world runs sometimes.We are forced to do something we definitely are not meant to be doing.I just dont understand this equation.An easy argument would be " well..u dont have to" and I know I dont have to but unfortunately I have to (hmm was that confusing??)because too many important things depend on this one lousy decission and I willingly take it.So now interestingly enough torture has taken the form of sacrifice!!*lol*.

Moving on to more pleasant topics..today was the department's welcome-to-new-students and welcome-back-old-students party.There were a few senior students ,a few from my batch ,the newbies and lots of food .Met S from India(Kharagpur)and had super fun conversing with him in Hindi(Forgot to ask if he brought any hindi movies with him).Apparently he is a good cook and interestingly enough we were joined by a senior student D ,who is from New Zealand and whom the entire dept knows is a good cook .Infact, today he had brought us all baked- from- scratch Englsih scones!!*respects*.He said his big love is baking . I told him I love to bake too but since I lack the inborn talent I simply get the mix from the supermarket and bake .His reaction- he pretended to gag himself and fall off the chair.hmmm.So much for trying!
Anyway it was a surreal moment for me; standing with two guys who can and love to cook.And D's philosophy."the way to a woman's heart is through cooking her good food".(Nice!)
Just finished seeing a cool movie at home.The constant gardner..pretty good,although I wish they didnt whisper so much.Almost every converstaion is a whisper .I would pump up the volume everytime they start whispering and then suddenly there would be a change of scene ,there would be loud dramatic music which would make me jump and I would try and make very clumsy attempts to reduce the vol.Ofcourse the volume buttons goes into a mood swing right that moment and I have people screaming from different sides.."R U DEAF???". So...a movie with lots of drama both inside and outside .
Oh and the guy with the blue bandana,and backpack is sporting a neat ponytail now... (extra points for that).Guess its his new spring look!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

New Start.

The new semester starts tomorrow and I wish and pray for hard work (*gulp*)and great results to come easy.
Amen

Friday, January 06, 2006

Shopping !

I love to engage in it..more often,if time and money wasnt a constraint .I find it therapeutic, relieves stress and makes me happy .Leading a student life and being on a student budget both time and money are limited resources.Even if time could be made available money still poses a problem.However, thanks to places like Wall Mart and K-Mart and my good old University Book Store within the campus, people like me on borderline budget can enjoy the thrill of shopping.
I particularly like to shop for school supplies in these places and with the new semester starting on monday I am getting geared up for some stationary shopping.
So here I go...

To market, to market ,
To buy books,not one
Home again,home again,
The market is done!
(Inspired by :to market ,to market by mother goose)

Thursday, January 05, 2006

LOLzzzzzzzz





A Friend sent these pics...so funny!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL ... YEAR FULL OF LAUGHTER & PEACE of mind!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Me the Blogger.

Quick and snappy.
INDIVIDUALIST:You make your own rules and boldly go where no one
has gone before. Some may think you are
arrogant and even rude, while others admire
your keen observations. Not that you really
care.

What kind of blogger are you?
brought to you by



"not that you really care"....that does sound arrogant to me.hmmm...
So tell me what kind of blogger are u and u and u and u and ...