Thursday, April 28, 2005

Going On A Trip!

I am not sure I enjoy packing very much--although it does indicate that I am about to go on a journey and that is something I thoroughly enjoy.
I guess I just dont have the common sense to pack properly.My bags always feel heavy for no reason(and no I never carry unnecessary stuff--seriously!!),they always seem too big for one person and they always look shapeless as though everything was stuffed into it in haste no matter how meticulous and organised I am.*sigh*Well ...I guess one cannot expect to be talented in everything *grin*.

Anyway I have to pack ,I am packing because tomorrow I am leaving for "apna des" India on a short trip.Yep ,Yep!!!---I will be going to Delhi ,staying there for about a week and then travelling down to Cochin.From Cochin ofcourse I have planned a whole lot of short trips to neighbouring states to visit friends and catch some spectacular sights!!

So untill I reach Cochin and get my hands on my parent's comp ,I'll be absent from the blogosphere for a short while.

Cya All!!and I wish myself a Bon Voyage! *grin*

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

A Long Distance Call.

I was on the phone with her yesterday night.She sounded very sad and confused.She said her life seemed to be drifting aimlessly ,wasting away. It seemed meaningless and useless.She was almost hysterical.I tried to calm her down ,and then she said she wanted to talk , pour her heart out and boy did she talk.At one point what she said made me so nervous and scared. She said she was tired of the life she was leading and was wondering if it was worth the struggle. I tried to interrupt but she kept talking as though she was in a trance. She talked about him and the way things are . She has no idea what he feels for her? Does he feel anything at all.? Sometimes its heartbreaking and sometimes frustrating. She didn’t understand the love she feels for him. She talked about her new found friend and how nicely he treats her. She called him her shining star. Makes her feel special and almost loved, a source of light and joy. She thinks she doesn’t deserve him. She talked about her family, and how responsible she feels towards them. Then there are times when she gets tired of the responsibility ,there are times when she feels like a burden on them and is tempted to drop everything and run away. She has all these dreams and aspirations which always seems to be slipping away from her reach. There are times when she feels motivated and inspired and there are times when she feels beaten and hopeless.She feels she is losing her focus, her determination and her weakness are more overpowering than her strengths. She buckles easily under its constant demands. Sometimes she is desperate for a miracle, sometimes she prays for inner strength and peace. She doesn’t mind being alone ,but she doesn’t know how to handle the loneliness She loves unconditionally ,but sometimes she wants to feel loved .She likes to be independent ,but now she craves for someone to protect her and take care of her and make her feel secure and contented. She thinks sometimes she is asking too much, feels like a whiner but sometimes she thinks she has every right to wish, expect and demand things. Sometimes life presses you down so hard ,its difficult to rise up on your own. She feels she is going through such a phase. She wants somebody to pull her up ,but who is that someone going to be, will that someone be around everytime she needs help.That would mean being dependent, which is hardly an ideal situation. So it has to be by herself, extra effort ,extra determination..
It was a really long talk and she did almost all the talking. She wanted it that way. She didn’t want anyone shelling out any advice to her. She was tired of advices and hearing all the feel-good kind words about her. She just wanted to speak out everything without anyone passing any judgments.. She doesn’t want to go back and change anything about her life ,because the past is already over and it cannot be changed anyway, but she knows she has control over the future, she can keep control if she chooses to. At the end she told me she was already feeling slightly better. Perhaps this is what she wanted –a proper uninterrupted ventilation.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Partial Paralysis

I am stricken with a partial paralysis of thoughts and emotions. Not able to do any personal introspection and reflection. No knowledge to share ,no light bulb moments to blurt out, no interesting incidents to tell, no relationship issues to ventilate…..etc .As reasons ,can I cling to excuses like I hardly have any friends here( the few whom I know are very busy people) , the walls of my house are my closest companions and they are always fine with whatever I feel, say or do I barely get out of the house and when I do I am just a silent and sometimes emotionally detached observer of life happening around me. Is that normal or abnormal? Is everything ok or is everything terribly wrong. Is my life blissful or is my life a ticking bomb ?.... Answer someone….*sigh*…I am again stuck for words & the paralysis continues!

Monday, April 25, 2005


Saw Nature on PBS today- Deep in the Jungle(featuring the Amazon Jungle).I have goosebumps.What an awesome show.The jungle is simply fabulous ,the thickness of the vegetation and variety of life that exists in it is simply mind blowing .It never ceases to amaze me how intrinsically and delicately each life form is linked that even moving a fallen leaf can be disruptive. I was surprised to learn that 85% of the Amazonian jungle is yet to be explored and scientists think there might be indigenous tribes living in these areas blissfully unaware of the rest of the world. So Fascinating!!! But who am I kidding…these forest areas are rapidly disappearing..thx to the massive logging that is being carried out in the name of economy and progress( boo to all the greedy and selfish MNCs ).They are either blissfully ignorant or they don’t care a damn about some indigenous tribe or if some small little bee responsible for the pollination of a certain plant species is facing extinction because a certain form of orchid is not available necessary for it to attract its mate and reproduce or a certain type of rodent might be facing extinction ,who is responsible for the regeneration of one of the tallest (160ft) and most important trees in the amazonian jungles(the brazillian nut tree-it takes 500yrs for it grow to that height) resulting in the extinction of the tree.
I wish people would become more sensitive to their environment. Who gave them the right to exploit this planet? Why are they being so selfish? Don’t they realize that this planet does not solely belong to them. What is the use of being blessed with intelligence when it’s misused this way. Its criminal and a terrible shame on the human race.
Something personal:- I want to be an ecologist ,I want to be a anthropologist ,I want to be an ecological anthropologist and I want to go back to college to be all that. God?...*sigh*.
Point to Remember:-
“Man must realize that he has not inherited this earth from his forefathers but he has borrowed it from his children” -World Conservation strategy

Sunday, April 24, 2005


Posted by Hello

"People have different understandings ,different ways of looking at things,different interpretations.and they have to be allowed this freedom"-OSHO

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Goofy beats Dull-A Poem

This is today
A day gone bad
Been gloomy all day.

Time feels trapped
Mind’s murky
Sense friends being missed.

Depressing melodies
Cheerless words
Effortlessly dreariness succeeds.

Irritated partner
In addition a cranky child
Aggravates the situation further .

Opted a trip to the market
Hoping to feel better
But returned rather upset.

It was a day
Where doom was meant to be
And nothing could keep it at bay.

Now attempting poetry
Obviously failing
The day continues to be uncomplimentary .


Probably this is the dumbest poem ever written by an adult ..but after a day that alternated between sad,bad,terrible,grumpy,horrible and a disaster the last thing I wanted to do was to immortalize it with flowery words.Decided to beat the evil by being goofy.

Friday, April 22, 2005


This post was inspired after reading another blog.
The person asks about how many of us have the courage to drop everything that is perceived a perfect well balanced life by the conventional world and follow your heart. I feel its not an easy task---especially if you have an unconventional heart( wrong usage I am!) . Requires a lot of courage… a bit of support from family or friends is an added advantage...but that’s rare. I guess to a certain extent it also depends on the type of society you were raised in….The more opinionated and judgmental and unforgiving the society is the tougher it becomes for you and the more agreeable or accommodating the society is things become easier .

Personally I have met a couple of people who have been very daring with the choices they made .and they have been inspiring and remain an inspiration.

P the eccentric priest /friend /professor/writter /biker/environmentalist/social worker/singer/brid watcher/nature lover/traveller/singer all rolled into one.Doesnt care a shit (oops!) about the seminary rules and does his own thing with so much conviction that now even the old “stooped in ancient rules” seminarians have accepted him with a sigh.*grin*

R hitting 60 but has the energy and enthusiasm of an 18yr old .Been an electrical engineer for a good part of his life, cushy top notch job in GE fine day he drops all that and enrolls for a MS prog in ocean engineering..Amazing I think…when you consider the age and the position he was career wise.Just shows its never too late for anything

K, after working as a hot shot young scientist in DRDO ,joined when he was barely 23 ,promoted thrice in 8 yrs decides to drop all the security and comforts and pursue higher studies abroad…faced many raised eybrows and dissaproval..but went ahead with his plans anyway.

Intelligent, Confident and Gutsy M.

Idealistic, Brilliant and Driven to Succeed N

Matter of Fact ,No-nonsense, Smart , Stock market wiz, Wife and Mom S

And there are a few more friends and others known to me who continue to amaze me with their fearlessness.

Me is still sitting on the fence, accumulating courage to follow my heart *embarrassed grin*.

Power to all who choose the unconventional path !

Thursday, April 21, 2005

KK to Osho..All In A Day!

I am in a "hate to love this way" status.Something like a female version of Devdas.Dont plan to share my tragic love story (actually there may or may not be one *grin* .That takes care of some irritating suspense *wicked grin*). All day I have been listening to some awesome kishorekumar oldies and I guess my status was inevitable.

Hard to believe me?...try listening to these songs ..

Hame tumse pyar kitna....
Chingari koi bhadke to sawan usey bhujaye...
Mere naseeb main hey dost tera pyar to nahi
Musafir hoo yaaro....
etc etc etc..

No personal "gyan" to share --but take this for some borrowed "gyan" and one of my favourites by the great OSHO!..and he says:-

"There is a quality of consciousness that can absorb wisdom and foolishness together,and there is no contradiction.The both become two aspects of your energy .Then you are sincere ,but not serious.Then you are truthful,but not

Om Shanti.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Not a Bad Day.

A bit more shopping today. Very sunny day so barely enjoyed the activity.Anyway got some cute stuff for my friends.Back home,tired and hungry..managed some lunch and a glass of chilled orange juice to cool off .Did some chatting and mailing and messaging, fixed dinner and sat down for some awesome TV viewing. No.. before you judge…the idiot box has never been soooo interesting and informative. Bottom line not guilty of wasting time .

First it was the popular science program Nova and I am now slightly more informed on the latest rage in science. Nanotechnology !!.... Small is Big!.*grin*
Then it was about Embryonic Stem cell Research and Human Cloning and all the big fuss and controversy around it.As a lady put it at the end which I thought was perfect, because I prefer to take a liberal stand on this matter too,that there shouldn’t be a law banning embryonic stem cell research because there is nothing unethical about it as they are simply cells which has the “Potential to develop into a baby only if implanted in a mother’s womb, otherwise it has the potential for stem cell research and find a cure for diabetes, or the potential to be the nerve ends to the damaged ends of a spinal cord.”I dont understand how it can be considered killing life or being disrespectful towards life?
Lastly there was the mystery of the frozen frog ..which literally freezes itself during winter and as spring arrives—its internal organs thaws first before its exterior!! Isn’t that amazing? Wondrous Nature!

After Nova it was two hrs of Frontline and today it was about the very famous, rather notorious real life incident made into a movie-The death of a Princess!!!.About a Saudi princess who was executed in public for committing adultery .So much intrigue and mystery.
And for the grand finale, the icing on the cake, the cherry on the icing *roll my eyes* (too much build up!)- !)- The Charlie Rose talk with the one and only Big B!!yep yep…our very own lambooji, kaliya, , shehansha , bade miya !!!..Amithab Bachan!!*drool*!

Not a bad way to wind up the day hu??

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Two ladies at the supermarket counter:

Lady1: I like raw liver.

Lady2: Oh ok , isn’t that like a Hawaiian dish?

Lady 1: As a kid I didn’t like it at first and then this aunty of mine told me it was candy and I ate it and I loved it so much ,I ate the whole plate .She then called me a pig.

Lady 2: But she told you it was candy and what else did she expect.

Lady 1: Yea .Its eaten raw but we wash it with salt and lemon and garnish it with roasted maccademia nuts.Its pretty good.

Me: *yuck!!*

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Just a Phase.....I Think.

I have not been entering posts regularly.I was positive I wouldn’t miss a day unless I had gone into coma or didn’t have access to a comp. Unfortunately no such excuses to take refuge. My reasons are simple and inglorious . I was lazy for one ..too lazy to put any effort on the brain and come up with something thoughtful and wise and second I didn’t feel my life was exciting enough to be preserved through a bunch of words.

I feel sad due to the lack of happiness *roll my eyes* ,I feel guilty for various things..feel like a wasted person…spending too much money earned by others...too much of a burden on others …..being unappreciative of whatever I have….for being a dreamer… etc etc…Perhaps its just a phase. I don’t know. I hope its just a phase.

I sent a whole bunch of mails to almost everyone I know…something like a suicide note..(er not really) but too many mails reassuring love ,friendship and relationships. Sounds rather dramatic!

I want to see my mom and my friend M…now that’s really weird!!

*Sigh* I don’t know what this post is about. Ventilating some thoughts running through my head I suppose.

Friday, April 15, 2005


Thats what I did today.Walked down to the mall,window shopped for a while and then bought some stuff for friends and familyand walked back(Big Mistake!!!..should have taken The Bus) . Blew up some money and I am totally exhausted(*yikes*!! that sounded shallow!!).Barely managed dinner, sat through two programes on TV that I watch religiously(the Apprentice and The Globe Trekker) and now too tired to think anything at all beyond this.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

The Philosopher & The Shrink.

Life seems to be a constant struggle between choosing the right and the wrong path.Its a struggle because most times you are unsure which is the right and which is wrong . In life’s path there are no road signs indicating right and wrong to ease you from your predicament.

Sometimes it involves making personal sacrifices ,sacrifices of our opportunities ,possibilities and dreams. Its however given a very noble tag which might give some of us a sense of pride. But if we are really honest to ourselves, there are times when we feel anything but pirde in our deeds, instead we experience regret and thoughts of “what if”. Many a times we make choices based on what we have been trained and taught to believe in .As adults we are exposed to other lifestyles, societal norms and attitude very different from the ones we were raised. We are tempted to embrace the new but years of training and grooming has shaped a second skin over us which isn’t easy to shed. Therefore it’s a constant struggle to choose right and experience life.

I think the key is to experience it. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be too programmed and lead a robot like existence. Life is a mixture of good and bad ,rights and wrongs, brilliant actions and terrible goof ups. It a concoction of various flavors and should be consumed with enthusiasm and dignity.

Staying positive has to be the motto. The beauty of life is its complexty. There is a popular cliché that “life is simple”, however , I believe life is simply complex and that is what makes it so fascinating albeit it can be lived simply. It all depends on how good we are at validating ourselves and forgiving ourselves and learning from our mistakes. So the bottom line is let us not feel overburdened by the choices we have to make.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Not Funny Really...!

A friend sent me this cartoon by's so much a reality these days.Pretty sad and scary.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Love Is In The Air !

Love is foolish ,love is insane..but I feel like being foolish and insane especially after listening to these lines...

Arwen:Do you remember the first time we met

Aragorn:I thought I had strayed into a dream

Arwen:Long years have passed
You do not have the cares you carry now
Do you remember what I told you?

Aragorn:You said you bind yourself to me
Forsaking the immortal life of your people

Arwen:And to that I hold
I would rather share one lifetime with you
than face all the ages of the world alone.
I choose a mortal life
And it (a locket ) is mine to give and I will
Like my heart.

Lines from LOTR-Fellowship of the Rings…romance in middle earth---between Arwen and Aragorn…lovely ,sweet ,magical !!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Good Time With Friends.

Had a good time today at R's place. T's masters prog is over and she is leaving for India in two weeks and R arranged a small party for T. It was just the four of us R,T A and myself.Food was good ,but we had super fun just hanging out together and yapping non-stop ,behaving more like a bunch of school girls at a slumber party than soon to be and aspiring professionals. R also gave us a virual tour of LA -her spring break trip(disney,downtown,universal studio,Kodak theatre,Hollywood etc etc).Treated us to some great pictures(mostly a result of luck rather than talent *grin*) ...a couple of video clips...and a good flowing commentary ..on the whole nice and interesting.

Highlight of the Day:

Got the entire set of Lord of the Rings DVD extended version from R.Thx soooooooo much!!
Now me going back to LOTR-Two Towers...*grin*

Saturday, April 09, 2005


To wander, to roam
To meander, to rove
Restless soul, traveler’s itch
Hunger to see, deep desire to be free.

Immobility, permanence, roots and constancy
Detested with guilt free intensity
Sometimes saunter and sometimes soar
Sometimes seek tranquility and sometimes wild adventure.

The mountains, the sea, the forests, the people
Splendor, delight, and awe in ample
Hope, dreams, aspirations linger
Wanderlust woos and I want to surrender

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Tchaikovsky and Kindergarten

Attended my first concert today. Well, it wasn’t a fancy date or anything…but I volunteered for a field trip with a bunch of kindergartners to the H symphony and it was a fantastic experience.

The concert hall was spectacular with all the red carpeting and velvet chairs ,cool interiors and subdued lighting etc etc and although the musicians weren’t formally dressed up ,the music they played was pretty awesome. We were treated to Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake and it was simply beeeeeautiful. The conductor also introduced the cello and some basics on conducting music to the audience. I was sitting next to jr who for a good part of the show was yawning(loud) like crazy (to the point that I was embarrassed) and later told me his favourite instruments were the huge drum at the back and the little triangle .*sigh* much for my musical aspirations for jr.

Anyway, the field trip itself was a delightful experience. It was a walking trip and managing these tiny little devils can be fun and challenging. They were all paired up(boy-girl) & queued up with the class teacher in front ,one teacher behind and the volunteer(me) in the middle. It was utter chaos..with their constant chattering, complaining, giggling , pushing and shoving. There was tiny Min(he really is tiny) -the explorer! who simply refused to stay in line –he would either walk zig-zag or would slip off and go exploring—something he saw on the side walk or some plant or a bee or something… and wherever he went he took his partner Jia along as she wouldn’t let go off his hand. I must have called “Min!” a thousand times but trust me..I would have got better response from a concrete wall.*sigh* .Then there was Flavory and Justin—the two little “sulkers” in the group who refused to hold hands and instead put them in their pockets. For a good part of the trip they were calling each other stinky! *grin*. Jr’s partner was little Miss Yen. I have to call her Miss Yen because she is such a little madam. All prim and proper with a very serious adult like disposition ( seriously funny guys!!!)…and the best part she was holidng jr’s hand and he was behaving pretty well actually….I am sure he was terribly embarrassed. Lord!.. such fun! *grin*.

Philosophy Recommended for Adoption

Freedom is the goal of life. Without freedom ,life has no meaning at all. By ‘freedom’ is not meant any political, social or economic freedom. By ‘freedom’ is meant freedom from time, from mind and freedom from desire- OSHO

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Eternal Love....Lost?

This is how I feel....

Hamase mat puuchho kaise, ma.ndir tuutaa sapano.n kaa
Logo.n kii baat nahii.n hai, ye kissaa hai apano.n kaa
Koii dushman Thes lagaaye, to miit jiyaa bahalaaye
Man miit jo ghaav lagaaye, use kaun mitaaye

Chingari Koi…OST:-Amar Prem.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

We Really Were In Paradise!

Today there was yet another mail from my friend N…a very close friend of mine ,whom I would put on top of a pedestal and look up in awe…actually I can do that to all my friends. If you haven’t met anyone brimming with idealism, intelligence ,sensitivity and love ---then she is the one. She wanted to know about my much anticipated trip to India. It seems she will be coming home(cochin) for a short vacation and she thought it would give us a chance to meet up if our dates matched. She is attending some camp on alternative education and also a cousin’s marriage. Unfortunately it’s a bit too early for my trip…but then we can always meet later. I am anyway planning to make a trip to Bangalore and from there her place(where she works) is pretty close. Spent some great time there last year and year before that. Can never forget all the good times and adventures we had. The stay at the remote tribal villages with hardly any basic amenities ( yes.. seriously -no proper access via road..only footpaths through long stretch of barren lands, no narrow crisscross lines overhead running into homes carrying something we call electricity and tiny contraptions on the cow dung smeared walls ,which would light up the room in one click, no small wonders called taps ,the slight turn of which would make water flow endlessly, no toilets(the only major adjustment we had to make) …. there wasn’t even pure drinking water!!) except for a roof over our head, the long walk to the neighbouring village in darkness ,with a black velvety sky above studded with stars and a faint torch light to show us the way (it was such a surreal experience) ,the two young men from the village who accompanied us ,the baby viper we encountered, all the many friends we made, all the lessons we learnt of human endurance, and the true meaning of joy and contentment. I remember how humbled and touched we were with all the hospitality and care and respect we received from them.Their sweetness and innocence and their most precious wealth –their pride.. were all such heart warming experiences.
Besides the people, the nature that surrounded us was simply awesome. I almost felt like suing God for teasing us with so much beauty. It’s the kind that provides food for the soul and fuel to your thoughts. Its an ideal environment to introspect and reflect. You can think logically and sometimes even illogical thoughts appear logical. You experience utter peacefulness and a mind free from chaos or confusion. There is a certain calmness that surrounds you and it slowly creeps into you and then all you can think is how beautiful life is…all you can feel is love for everyone.You want to tell everyone that you love them, you want to ask forgiveness ,you want to forgive the ones who have hurt you. You want to fall in love or you want to re-affirm your deep love for someone—and you pledge to never let down all those dependent on you. Basically you feel very positive and humbled and excited and calm and good about everything and everyone around you and about life in general.
Now tell me… don’t you think we were in paradise??..I would say yes!.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Met Someone Interesting and... He Is Drop Dead Handsome Too!!

I would call today an interesting day.
Was chilling at home ,when I decided to walk down to the video shop close by and return a cassette. Saw motorcycle diaries around three times , and made sure every small detail remained etched in my memory. What a movie!—particularly inspiring for all the travel maniacs out there. It also has a historical angle as one of the travelers is the great Che Guevara of the Cuban Revolution.Watch the movie uall!

At the library I found my neighbour S with another friend of his G. G looked as though he had walked out from a GQ magazine cover. I normally don’t care much about a person’s looks and have never talked to or become friends with anybody or felt overawed by anybody solely on the basis of their appearance . I almost pride myself in this department.. However ,this time I swear I have no idea what the hell went wrong or didnt go wrong. It was strange....I was so drawn to him and I swear I could feel his interest too and it felt really uncomfortable to feel this way about someone in just one glance . But that’s what happened and I seriously felt like an insecure teenager. This guy is one drop dead gorgeous of a hunk and I have never seen anyone so tall and so freakingily handsome in real life—atleast not in such close proximity and my discomfort increased ten-folds when S made a round of introductions. I was pretty positive that once the intros are done with we can all go diff ways; infact …I was desperate to escape ,but thats not quite what happened. Fate, I suppose, had other plans.

After the usual intro chat of hi ,where you from and what you doin etc etc our pal showed no signs of moving on .. He happened to see the video I was holding in my hand and asked me how I found the movie. Since I was still high on the movie ,it didn’t take much effort to burst out my enthusiasm. I don’t know if it was my enthusiasm or if he found my review interesting, or if it was something else .. our pal G wanted to talk more and I didn’t mind either.*grin*. I think it was the way he smiled and his very friendly disposition that helped me relax .(Similing comes easy to me and I am always curious when people dont smile back or smile at all.)So, in between browsing for some new videos we managed to get on with some more conversation. Meanwhile S got lost somewhere .We were soon discussing movies, music, to places we have been, to places we plan to go(uhu—another travel enthusiast!!*grin*) ,to family(well he is single ,but not me) to how we like our coffee etc etc. LOL!! ..yea—isnt that weird??. .Anyway we spent around 40 mins in the library ,reviewed atleast a dozen movies and talked about everything and anything(well…almost..some mentioned above) .S suddenly appeared from somewhere with a couple of videos in hand and brought us back to reality and it was also a cue for leaving .I remember wishing S had vanished for ever ,because after a really really long time ,I am meeting someone interesting like him ,enjoying an absolutely delightful conversation and the fact that he looked drop dead gorgeous was definitely a bonus*grin*.He then dropped the bomb shell and asked me if I would have coffee with him. I didn’t do anything embarrassing like drop my jaw on the floor and stare blankly-cant remb actually ..but I do remember mumbling a ‘sure coffee sounds good’. What the hell! I wasn’t going to let go off good company and great conversation for anything and if he had time for coffee ,so did I …and its just coffee!!*shrug*. There is a coffee bar next door(Sure Shot Coffee House.What a name!!*roll my eyes*)and that’s where we went and carried on with some more delightful conversation .S fortunately had some work and couldn’t join us. Thank God for that!*wicked grin*.

It was a slightly weird experience too because I could never in my wildest dream think of somebody like him ever be interested to talk to somebody like me. Yea yea---I know what you guys are thinking---No!! I don’t suffer from low self-esteem or major insecurities regarding my looks(ok maybe a teeny-weeny bit if I am honest) ,but still ,somebody like this guy and me –gees!! Someone just pinch me!!! He is just too good to be true guys!! I would have rolled my eyes with disbelief if anyone had predicted such a scenario …but now I might. But really ,the fact of the matter is he happens to be a nice guy with absolutely no airs about him( I doubt if he realizes how beautiful he!) and we just hit it off and I am pretty sure we would have said goodbyes soon after the intros if we didn’t feel any connection. So….I guess the bottom line is , inspite of my nagging insecurities and disbeliefs ,it really is never about the looks and I am sooo right.*grin* .

Ok, I don’t want to drool anymore but it sure was one bloody welcome change from my monotonous existence. I don’t know if this is going to be the start of a nice long friendship, but cheers to that anyway.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Jr and The Pope.

Jr: Did you know hope is dying?

Me: hu? *raised eyebrows*.

Jr: Yea, hope is dying.

Me: (thinking)*WTF! Jr is too young to be shelling out “deep gyan”!*. I ask again:- er—did u say hope is dying?

Jr: Yea ..its on TV. He is very old and can’t breathe….so he is dying.

Me: OH!! You mean the Pope is dying!!.

Jr: Yeaaaaa….thats what I said.. hope is dying.

Me: *sigh* Jr, it’s the Pope not hope.

Jr: Ok..
The Pope has passed away and the world has lost a kind and peace loving soul. There was a documentary on him in the PBS today.I saw how he had touched the hearts of millions of people and could easily comprehend the sorrow people across the world felt over his departure. May his soul rest in peace.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Song in My Head Goes.....

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can’t be my own
I’d feel better dead


Friday, April 01, 2005

A Little Bit of Good ...A Little Bit of Bad.

-Got to hear another cool song today.-Nutshell by Alice in Chains. A bunch of thanks to V for sending across the song.I had checked out the lyrics long back ,liked it a lot and wanted to hear the song ever since….Dream came true today and trust me –its an AWESOME song!.

-Me…was minding my own business listening to this truly awesome song Nutshell and decided to suggest the song to another friend( who is a self-proclaimed music maniac).He told me he wasn’t interested as he just had some fight with a friend who is a girl(grilfriend?..dont know). He explained the issue and I tried to be my objective best ,giving some reasonable and logical personal thoughts on the issue …..when the whole conversation took a weird twist . I found myself dragged into a situation/argument(whatever) -unexpectedly, unwillingly and un-necessarily ,hearing and saying a whole bunch of stuff to each other , ending up feeling royally upset and teary eyed !Anyway ,after a while…..No…we didn’t kiss and make up—but you can say the topic was politely brushed aside and we bid our goodbyes. I am torn between feeling like a scapegoat and feeling responsible(50% ie).*sigh*.Anyway it was an unexpected downer of the day.

-Spent about an hour with Ian Wright (he ROCKS!!) and we traveled across Mongolia..thx to Globe Trekker.I am planning to go their one day—one of my unrealized dreams. Read somewhere that the best way to see the country is to apply for a job as an English teacher and that way you can spent time in the country and explore it well.

-On a parting note-again this is something I read….
To be Spiritual :-Radical re-orientation away from our habitual pre-occupation with self.
Yea, well..I am working on it.